Finding your purpose in life
Do you ever get stuck in a slump and you feel like it's never going to end? That is how I have been feeling for the longest time. In fact, believe it or not, since Christmas. These slumps can be hard to shake but are a very powerful tool for reflection.
It began when I returned home for Christmas with my boyfriend. We were feeling good, we were finally at the end of one of the most trying years to date. Shaking off the excess baggage which we'd carried on our backs for the last 12 months, we were ready to let our hair down and live by our own accord.
Though, the novelty soon wore off and reminders of why we left home was becoming more and more apparent. Our 3 week trip was beginning to feel 3 weeks too long. I felt sluggish and unmotivated. My cold, dark, empty shell of a home didn't help. I welcomed the winter weight to my hips and took a break from my blog "since it's Christmas after all".
Don't get me wrong, seeing my friends and family was wonderful but I was battling with something a lot bigger inside my own head.
The time finally came to pack up and ship out. I was ready for a fresh start and a new year ahead. Our first week into the "new year" was spent clearing out after our previous housemates to make our apartment a welcoming, friendly environment once again. We then got news that that weekend we were getting two new house mates. I was excited but anxious after a suffocating few months which left a worse than bad taste in my mouth. But I was ready to embrace change and welcome these two wonderful women into our home.
The weeks dragged on and suddenly it was the end of February. I was lazily replying to emails and dragging my hands over the keyboard to churn out posts. My blatant lack of equipment was only killing my motivation and creativity further. But I stuck with it.
Then a revelation came about. After a boozy 80's night, a friend came to me and confided in me and my world hasn't been the same since. Right now it's not my place to disclose the craic but I'm sure I will be able to share my experience with you on down the line.
But for now what I will tell you is this: a weight has been lifted, a plug has been pulled and all those self-deprecating questions I'd ask myself have become clear, and made peace. This news also woke me up to the importance of actually living your life the way you want it to be. Too many years has my friend lived in the dark, a shadow of one's self, only now to be able to live and breath freely.
I can't say if there will be a change in my posts or whether or not this revelation will in fact affect my blog at all, we shall see. It's very difficult because they always say to write about your experiences and right now I'm experiencing some of the most wonderful things but I'm just not in the position to share it yet.
I hope this shpeel has clear up my inconsistent and erratic behavior (or lack of) online lately. I'm pleased to be feeling a little more myself and I look forward to sharing some more soon.
So tell me, what's been the monkey on your back lately? I look forward to learning and growing and sharing these new experiences with you. Stay tuned for more!
(P.S. A little side note: Mum, I know your reading this and I know what your like so don't go asking questions because I won't answer them! Thanks :) )